Tuesday, December 8, 2009

There is Another...or Three

Today was a little different during our visit time with Ana. Usually we go to her orphanage, pick her up (Tom does this, as she is a bit heavy for me), and go into a room that is normally for four kids to sleep in. We play in there for an hour and a half the first visit, and then two hours the second visit. While we love spending time with our daughter, it is difficult when you do the same thing everyday...in the same room...with the same toys.

Yesterday it was a bit nicer outside, so we got to play outside with the kids. That was a good change of scenery and made the visit go by faster. It was more fun for Ana, which makes me feel better. I don't want her to dislike her time with us because it is boring for her. (We can only buy so many toys here =). We played outside and then inside for a bit too. It was too cold to play outside the whole time.

This morning was too cold to play outside, but much to our surprise they came and got us after a very short time in our room. The doctor (who is very beautiful btw and LOVES the kids very much) came and told us, "I'm sorry, but it is time for their music lesson..." and she motioned that we could come out and join all the kids. We were very glad to do so and went right out. Ana loved the music and doing all the motions. Most of the kids seemed to enjoy themselves, though all of them wanted to climb all over both of us of course. It is a bit hard to see all of the other kids because they want so much to have a mommy and daddy there for them too. They climb all over us and will actually fight for "face time" with us (only so many children can fit in our laps at a time).

During the music lesson it was much different than yesterday when we were outside though. These were just the children from Ana's floor, so there weren't as many kids, they were the kids we are used to seeing, and also most of them were special needs. I'm not sure why, but the special needs kids seem to be less pushy and bossy...their attitudes are much nicer and I more enjoy giving them my attention. While I totally understand that the less kind children are only doing so because of the lives they have lived, it is still more endearing to have a child that sweetly tries to get your attention, rather than pushing kids out of the way and then hitting you and being slightly mean to get you to notice them. (This saddens me too of course. Just in a different way.)

Inside, with the kids on Anastasia's floor, we just love the children. They are so sweet. This morning with the music lesson, we had the opportunity to enjoy them rather than be bombarded with too much attention. There is a little boy with DS who we hope will be on Reece's Rainbow soon. He is a bundle of energy and is always trying to escape- he he he. It makes me laugh. He is a good boy, and they always laugh at him when he tries to get out. It seems that he is not trying to get away, but more that he has an exploratory nature. He wants to figure out what is over there or behind that door. It reminds me of Ben, our little boy at home. He isn't naughty or mischievous, he just wants to figure things out and isn't timid or mindful of rules. He naturally gets himself into trouble, but not in an intentional way. He is very cute...but unfortunately I don't know his name yet.

Christina is another. She does not have DS, but has some other needs. She is so very happy ALL the time and walks around with a smile on her face...a HUGE smile...all the time. I would say she is the most interested in my attention and loves to come and get hugs. Whenever we come to get Ana, she is always at the door calling to us as Mama and Papa...so hard knowing that we will be leaving and we aren't going to take her with us. Will her heart be broken? Will a family come for her? Will she have the same fate that Ana or Tonya would if they weren't adopted...the fate of an institution? I am not even sure if Christina is available for adoption, but I am going to ask our facilitator if she can find out. Christina walks and runs, but her legs don't function the way they should. She falls sometimes and it seems that it is hard for her to get up off the ground by herself. She will most times just walk around on her knees when she falls until an adult comes to help her back up. I would guess from our time with her, which is limited (not one on one), that she is delayed a bit too. She is very capable of doing everything that the other kids are doing, but she isn't at the same level that most kids her age would be. Pray for a family for Christina. She is such a precious little girl. Anastasia and Tonya are very different from Christina. They both seem to have some spunk...they are a little bossy and have a harder time sharing (nothing that is not teachable). Christina is much different. She is all joy and smiles all the time and gets along well with all the other kids. She just wants to be loved, that's it. She wants the other kids to love her, the caretakers, and us. Love. Christina will be such a sweet addition to whoever brings her home. She is one of my two favorites outside of Ana =).

My other favorite is a little girl that seems to be about the same size and age as Ben. She weighs quite a bit less, but she is walking all over the place, falling here and there. I am not sure if she has any special needs of any sort. She seems to have a vision problem, but that would be all that I can observe at this point. Sorry...no doctor here =). She is always watching us and waving at us. She has big eyes that stay fixed on us with curiosity whenever we are within range of view. She doesn't get to go outside with the other kids and she is often in a different area than the other kids. I am not sure if this is because she is so much younger, or what. There is a play pen like area in the center of their floor of the building that some of the kids that can't walk are placed in most times. There are never more than two in there, but she is often one of them. From time to time she is in with the other kids, but it isn't all the time. Yesterday when we were coming in, they tried to take her in the room with all the toys and the ball pit that the other kids are in during that time and she just cried. The caretaker walked out with her right away and looked at me with a smile and a shrug. They took her back to the place she preferred to be.

I will take a second to mention while I am thinking about it...the ratio here of kids to caretakers is wonderful. There seem to be about 8 kids on this particular floor and 3 to 4 caretakers. This is not including the doctor, who is often on this floor. Her desk seems to be there, though I am not certain that they don't have a desk on each floor with information about each of the children in files.

Back to my rambling about our day...

So, this morning we got to spend time with some of the other kids as well as Ana. The little girl that I told you about, the one that is younger than the rest, she sat on my lap for a little while and they allowed it. She wasn't as able to do the music as the rest of the kids, so it was okay. Our little one is more fond of her Daddy still right now, so I let her be and don't try to force anything on her. She likes me, but is always more into climbing up in Daddy's lap and being with him. Because of this, she is not jealous of other kids climbing on me. If they climb on him it's sometimes a different story. She is more apt to get territorial about him.

Tom says looking at things that I have said here (mainly that the visit went by faster), that it seems like I don't enjoy Anastasia. Please don't get the wrong impression. I am very exicited to take her home and bond with her more there. We have bonded here too, but it's different when you are in such an unnatural situation and you feel like people are watching your every move. Imagine the situation of being in the same room, twice a day, for two hours...every single day. Same thing. Same toys. Same everything. You understand a little? Can I get an amen from someone who knows =).

Okay. So, now that we have that under control, it's time for me to get to some other things. I need to get ready to go visit again. To walk our daily walk to the orphanage that's about 20 minutes, perhaps 15, and to hopefully have some time outside before we get our room time with Ana. If you feel like this post was all over the place, well you are not alone. I feel the same way. That's how my brain works right now...all over the place.

Thank you to all of you who have helped with fund raising to build up Tonya's adoption fund. Hopefully soon I will have news for you that she has a family on the way!


  1. http://jodyrlanders.com/?p=1268

    I dont have kids but I think your feelings are totally normal! I linked to a post that I have sent to RR mommies many times before. I think it just reminds us that we're not alone in our feelings!

  2. First of all, I don't think it sounded like you don't enjoy Ana. The post was more about the other kids you've gotten attached to. And I think we can all say "amen" that it would be hard to spend 4 hours a day in a small room with minimal toys with an active toddler who you are just getting to know and who speaks a different language. :)

    I love hearing about the other children... makes me want to go work in an Eastern European orphanage and love on the kids! Dear Jesus, please bring mamas and papas for all of Ana's little friends!

    Music lessons and a ball pit?! WOW! This orphanage is amazing! Praise the Lord for providing such an amazing place for Ana, Tonya, Christina, and their friends.

    Hope your afternoon with Ana went well!!!

  3. You know, for us, the main thing was that we had a picture and an idea of who Nina was, and we absolutely loved that Nina! Then, when we got here and we met her, we had to let go of the Nina we had created, and make room for the real Nina. It was actually hard to do.
    More and more I feel like I am falling in love with Nina, because I am getting to know her and getting to see the beautiful and REAL little girl that she is.
    This might have nothing to do with anything you said, but there, I contributed to what you called a ramble :)

  4. Ana is so precious...and I just checked the angel tree! Tonya's picture has been moved to the bottom with the other kids who have found their families! The Lord has a special plan for Tonya...and I cannot wait to see what that is!

  5. So happy to read the part of your post about Christina!!!! And I am so happy write that we ARE her family, and we will be going to get her in the Spring. After reading your blog I had so hoped that we would have her with us by this Christmas, but the paperwork fairies had a different idea, and it looks like our adoption will end up a full 9 months long.